Sea Wolf (A Compass Rose Novel, 2) by Anna Burke

Author:Anna Burke [Burke, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781612942025
Publisher: Bywater Books
Published: 2021-06-08T23:29:25+00:00

East

Captain’s Log

Captain Miranda Stillwater

Man o’ War

February 25, 2514

11°52’12”N, 4°28’48”W

Raid scheduled to replete lost inventory and restore morale. Mission to Symbiont forestalled at the moment.

[Redacted]

Instructions: The following letter is to be given to Compass Rose in the event of my death.

Rose, I’m sorry. You were right to ask for time. You should never have given me any of your time. I wanted to protect you. But you’re right: that isn’t my call. You were naïve, when you came to my ship, but not as naïve as I thought you were—or as you thought you were. You surprised me. You surprised all of us. I’m not half as brave. When Amaryllis found me, I wanted to die. She gave me purpose, and she loved me, Rose, and she trusted me, which was a mistake. But she recognized something in me. It’s the same thing I recognized in her, and that I recognized in Comita, and, yes, that I recognized in you. We’re all willing to burn for what we believe in.

I’m not making excuses for her. She’s cold. She’s brutal. And I loved her, too. Not like I love you. She and I were never like that. But I know what it’s like to love someone like me: someone who can be monstrous. And, as I did, you eventually came to your senses and acted according to your principles. I hate that I’m proud of you for that.

The people I love get hurt, Rose. When we first started this, I told myself I wouldn’t let you matter to me. That you were just a pretty pair of eyes. I couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. But then I got to know you. I saw the rage in you, beneath the surface, and I recognized it. We both know what it is to be tossed away. Because of that, I should have trusted you to understand. You deserve someone who respects you enough to trust you with their failures and their fears, as well as their successes. I wanted to be that person for you. But it was always going to take a long time to work past these scars, if I ever could. Still, I would have selfishly asked for your patience. I would have given you all the time you needed, and I would have been there, waiting, whenever you were ready.

Love,

Miranda

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